Little Jaxson

I had twins born on October 10th 2007. Twin A Jaxson George McGee 2lbs 8oz and 14inches in length. Twin B- Briannah 1010 grams or 2lbs 3 oz and 14 inches in legnth. They were born in Toronto. They went into the NICU at mount Sanai Hospital in Toronto.

I had a emergency c-section because Twin B Sack Broke. When Discharged from Hospital my babies were still to stay in the NICU as they had to grow to come home they were so tiny. There were across from each other in the NICU.

When I was Discharged I stayed at the Ronald Macdonald house in Toronto. My hubby came up from Collingwood on the 15th he got to the hospital at about 8:30pm. We both went into the NICU. we went in for a hour the twins were doing good. We then left to go and get some sleep.

I woke up at 4:00am to go pee and then the phone rang it was the nurse telling me Jaxson had got sick at 1am and you might want to come down because Jaxson doesnt look or doing good at all. So we headed there and got there 10 minutes later.

We got there and rang the phone that u call in to say who u are here to see. A pregnant nurse opened the door and she was crying and right there I knew it was not good. I looked straight across the room and seen my little mans lights flashing and heard the beeping we went over to the incubator and Jaxson was laying there so helpless, his arms were spread so far out and his pupils looked very weird.

I had asked is he alive and they said yes but he is on a lot of support right now. So they were giving him CPR and after about 1 hr at 5:30am they could no longer help him and he flat lined and I seen my little boy die in front of me.

This was the hardest thing me and my husband had to experience seeing our little boy die. They took us to the back showed us some x-rays. And asked if we wanted to hold our son we said we would love that. So we went into this room called a Care by Parent room. Where we got to spend time with our little man.

It was hard but we loved holding our baby, at times my stomach was turning and i felt sick and We cried a lot. Here we were spending time with our baby that died. We had family come up to meet our little boy but not the way we wanted them to meet Jaxson.

After all the family left we spent another few hours with our baby it was so hard to let go but 12 hours was enoughtime and he had to go for his Autopsy. We had to leave our little girl in Toronto in the NICU and had to go plan and take care of the funeral little did I know you dont have much time to plan for this.

I had a lot of support and a very good turn out at my sons funeral. The burriel was hard to see our little one being lowered into the ground and my dad and father in law lowered him into the ground. It has been a year and it is still very hard, I think of my Jaxson each and every day and miss him to death.

Everyday that goes by you think it would get easier but the pain is always there just knowing that we want to kiss him and hug him. This is such a hard thing to experience. IN march 2008 we got the results of the Autopsy and Jaxson Passed away from a Displacment of a Embilical Catheter into the Liver Perionatal Cavity.

Crystal McGee- Elliot Lake

Daniel Thomas

I have 3 children, but only get the pleasure of raising two of them.

My first child was stillborn September 2, 2006. I was less than a week away from my due date and had my normal weekly OB appointment. I took my husband with me and was actually going to ask the doctor to separate my membranes so we could kick start labor. She tried using the doppler for quite a while trying to find his heartbeat. When she couldn't find it, she took me into an ultrasound room and told me that worst news of my life.

His heart had stopped beating.

Everything was completely normal up until that day. I knew he was moving they day before, but was so excited about my appointment that I hadn't done any kick counts that day....huge mistake!

Even though he had passed away, I still had to deliver him. They sent me to the hospital immediately to start induction. Unfortunately my body didn't want to labor. They gave me cervical softening pills and lots of pitocin, It took me 43 hours to dialate to 3 cm. After 45 hours of labor and 5 pushes, Daniel Thomas was born.

The nurses cleaned him up and gave us the chance to hold him. It was the hardest thing in the world to do, to look at the face of my little boy. I felt that I failed him in every possible way. My world was torn upside down and it took months to start feeling normal again.

My OB tried to convince me to start using birth control so I could have time to heal (physically and mentally), but I refused. I didn't want to try again, but I didn't want to hinder the possibility when I was I was ready to try. God had other plans though. I found out I was pregnant again less than 3 months after my son died. This time it was twins though! I think it was his way of making up for my loss. My pregnancy was heavily monitored and I successfully carried both babies for 37 weeks. They were born via c-section.

We take our kids to visit their big brother's grave regularly. He is still very much a part of my life and I Know he is always watching over us. The pain of losing him is still with me, but I know he's in a better place.